Fishcaketales

I was inspired by an episode of Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon Ramsay transforms a restaurant with major pretensions into the traditional British pub it claims to be. After being roundly chastised for too many "au jus" reductions, the chef uses "fresh, locally-sourced ingredients" to make an "good, honest" fishcake that is apparently "to die for".

It really looked like it was to die for, so I decided to make some of my own. I found a recipe in my America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook and thus inspired, went to the grocery store. I should mention that while I am an adventurous cook, I'm also a cheap one, so instead of the pound and a half of fresh salmon called for, I used a pound of tilapia and a half-pound of salmon.

Some other "adjustments" (or, ahem, screw-ups) I made: ran out of mayo so I made my own--from olive oil (don't ever do that, even if Jamie Oliver tells you to), added 2 eggs to the mixture (didn't read the recipe where it said the eggs are just for coating with breadcrumbs, but told myself it would help them to hold together better), and added extra mayo to make up for the tilapia replacing the oilier salmon.

This isn't rocket science or souffle, so they actually turned out okay! Definite olive oil notes, and the tilapia is much milder than the salmon, but not bad at all.

Unfortunately I won't be making them again, or at least not until I buy a food processor (which probably won't be any time soon, see above reason for substituting the tilapia). The fish is supposed to be "minced" which takes 4 pulses in a processor, or 25 minutes rocking a not-quite-sharp-enough knife back & forth on a cutting board while the back of the knife digs ever deeper into the palm of the hand.

Even all-salmon all-the-time version isn't really worth the agony.